THE ANSWER TO DESPAIRING THOUGHTS AT THE APPREHENSION OF OUR OWN UNWORTHINESS
John Bunyan

This doctrine, "By grace ye are saved," it is the only remedy against despairing thoughts at the apprehension of our own unworthiness; as,

1. Thou criest out, O cursed man that I am! my sins will sink me into hell.

Answ. Hold, man; there is a God in heaven that is "the God of all grace" (1 Peter 5:10). Yet thou art not the man of all sin. If God be the God of all grace, then if all the sins in the world were thine, yet the God of all grace can pardon, or else it should seem that sin is stronger in a man penitent, to damn, than the grace of God can be to save.

2. But my sins are of the worst sort-blasphemy, adultery, covetousness, murder, &c.

Answ. "All manner of sins and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men, wherewithsoever they shall blaspheme.-Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon" (Matt 12:31; Mark 3:28; Isa 55:7,8).

3. But I have a stout and rebellious heart, a heart that is far from good.

Answ. "Hearken unto me," saith God, "ye stout-hearted, that are far from righteousness: I bring near my righteousness"; that is, the righteousness of Christ, by which stout-hearted sinners are justified, though ungodly (Isa 46:12,13; Phil 3:7,8; Rev 4:5).

4. But I have a heart as hard as any stone.

Answ. "A new heart also will I give you," says God, "and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh" (Eze 36:26).

5. But I am as blind as a beetle; I cannot understand anything of the gospel.

Answ. "I will bring the blind by a way that they know not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them" (Isa 42:16).

6. But my heart will not be affected with the sufferings and blood of Christ.

Answ. "I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the Spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his first-born" (Zech 12:10).

7. But though I see what is like to become of me if I find not Christ, yet my spirit, while I am thus, will be running after vanity, foolishness, uncleanness, wickedness.

Answ. "Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols will I cleanse you" (Eze 36:25).

8. But I cannot believe in Christ.

Answ. But God hath promised to make thee believe. "I will also leave in the midst of thee an afflicted and poor people, and they shall trust in the name of the Lord." And again, "There shall be a root of Jesse, and he that shall rise to reign over the Gentiles, in him shall the Gentiles trust" (Zeph 3:12; Rom 15:12).

9. But I cannot pray to God for mercy.

Answ. But God hath graciously promised a spirit of prayer-"Yea, many people and strong nations shall come to seek the Lord of hosts in Jerusalem, and to pray before the Lord.-They shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people; and they shall say, The Lord is my God" (Zech 8:22; 12:10; 13:9).

10. But I cannot repent. Answ. "The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree. Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins" (Acts 5:30,31).

Thus might I enlarge, for the holy Bible is full of this exceeding grace of God. O these words, "I will" and "you shall"! they are the language of a gracious God; they are promises by which our God has engaged himself to do that for poor sinners which would else be left undone for ever.

Quest. But how should I do? and what course should I take to be delivered from this sad and troublesome condition?

Answ. Dost thou see in thee all manner of wickedness? The best way that I can direct a soul in such a case is, to pitch a steadfast eye on Him that is full, and to look so steadfastly upon Him by faith, that thereby thou mayst even draw down of His fullness into thy heart; for that is the right way, and the way that was typed out, before Christ came in the flesh, in the time of Moses, when the Lord said unto him, "Make thee a fiery serpent" of brass, which was a type of Christ "and set it upon a pole; and it shall come to pass" that when a serpent hath bitten any man, "when he looketh upon it, shall live" (Num 21:8). Even so now in Gospel times, when any soul is bitten with the fiery serpents-their sins-that then the next way to be healed is, for the soul to look upon the Son of Man, who, as the serpent was, was hanged on a pole, or tree, that whosoever shall indeed look on Him by faith may be healed of all their distempers whatever (John 3:14,15).

As now to instance in some things.
1. Is thy heart hard? Why, then, behold how full of bowels and compassion is the heart of Christ towards thee, which may be seen in His coming down from Heaven to spill His heart-blood for thee.
2. Is thy heart slothful and idle? Then see how active the Lord Jesus is for thee in that He did not only die for thee, but also in that He hath been ever since His ascension into Heaven making intercession for thee (Heb 7:25).
3. Dost thou see and find in thee iniquity and unrighteousness? Then look up to Heaven, and see there a righteous Person, even thy righteous Jesus Christ, now presenting thee in His own perfection before the throne of His Father's glory (1 Cor 1:30).
4. Dost thou see that thou art very much void of sanctification? Then look up, and thou shalt see that thy sanctification is in the presence of God a complete sanctification, representing all the saints as righteous, as sanctified ones in the presence of the great God of Heaven. And so whatsoever thou wantest, be sure to strive to pitch thy faith upon the Son of God, and behold Him steadfastly, and thou shalt, by so doing, find a mighty change in thy soul. For when we behold Him as in a glass, even the glory of the Lord, we are changed, namely, by beholding, "from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord" (2 Cor 3:18). This is the true way to get both comfort to thy soul, and also sanctification and right holiness into thy soul.

Poor souls that are under the distemper of a guilty conscience, and under the workings of much corruption, do not go the nearest way to Heaven if they do not in the first place look upon themselves as cursed sinners by Law; and yet at that time they are blessed, for ever blessed saints by the merits of Jesus Christ.
"O wretched man that I am," saith Paul; and yet, O blessed man that I am, through my Lord Jesus Christ; for that is the scope of the Scripture (Rom 7:24,25).

And, therefore, whatever thou findest in thy soul, though it be sin of never so black a soul-scarring nature, let it move thee to run the faster to the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt not be ashamed-that is, of thy running to Him.

But when thou dost apprehend that thou art defiled, and also thy best duties annoyed with many weaknesses, let that Scripture come into thy thoughts which saith,
"Of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption";
and if thou shalt understand that, what thou canst not find in thyself thou shalt find in Christ.
Art thou a fool in thyself? then Christ is made of God thy wisdom.
Art thou unrighteous in thyself? Christ is made of God thy righteousness.
Dost thou find that there is but very little sanctifying grace in thy soul? still here is Christ made thy sanctification; and all this in His own Person without thee, without thy wisdom, without thy righteousness, without thy sanctification, without in His own Person in thy Father's presence, appearing there perfect wisdom, righteousness, and sanctification in His own Person; I say, as a public Person for thee; so that thou mayest believe, and say to thy soul, My soul, though dost find innumerable infirmities in thyself, and in thy actions, yet look upon thy Jesus, the Man Jesus; He is wisdom, and that for thee, to govern thee, to take care for thee, and to order all things for the best for thee. He is also thy righteousness now at God's right hand, always shining before the eyes of His glory; so that there it is unmoveable, though thou art in never such a sad condition, yet thy righteousness, which is the Son of God, God-man, shines as bright as ever, and is as much accepted of God as ever.

O this sometimes hath been life to me; and so, whatever thou, O my soul, findest wanting in thyself, through faith thou shalt see all laid up for thee in Jesus Christ, whether it be wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, or redemption. Nay, not only so, but, as I said before, He is all these in His own Person without thee in the presence of His Father for thee.